i used to care alot about how my mum thinks about me.
i used to care alot about the things she said about me.
i used to care, really.
but now, it seemed like i dont anymore.
seriously, i felt like i'm being accused of something i'm not.
you always say that i've changed.
but you've never told me in what way i've changed.
yes, i've changed.
i've definitely changed in some way or another.
but the amount of respect you get from me didnt change at all.
you might think i dont respect you anymore.
but you're wrong.
i've always respected you.
but after SO MUCH that you've said, i dont know if i still respect you as much as i previously do.
you told sis, "you are a good daughter. unlike your sister...."
i heard it.
i heard everything.
i dont know if you were just jk or you were being serious about it.
but you sounded as if you were disappointed in me.
wells, i'm sorry if i've disappoint you.
but what you said kinda made me reflect.
am i really that bad??
have i really change for the worst??
do i still respect you?
do i still care?
i've thought through.
i guessed i have been pretty rude to you for the past few months.
and it's probably because i've lost some of my respect towards you.
i dont know what caused this to happen but it just happened like that.
just like that.
i've probably changed in a way that you do not like.
i'm sorry.
and maybe, i think i dont really care that much about what you say now.
it's not that i dont care about you.
i still care about you.
that, i'm sure of it.
i still care whether you're healthy.
i still care whether you're feeling fine.
i still care about what you're doing.
i still care about you.
i do care.
but what i dont care is the things you say about me.
you know, when you said that to sis, i was like immune to it.
i thought i would be very much affected by it.
but i was not.
i think the main thing here is that i still care about you.
i still care about the things you say TO me.
probably regarding my studies or anything.
but i dont really care that much about what say about me.
it's probably because i've heard too much of it.
too much of you saying that i've changed just because of some really tiny matters.
sometimes, i think that you're being pretty unreasonable.
but lets just forget about that.
i dont wanna rake up another thing and start yet another quarrel.
it's been very long since we've sit down and have a good chat.
at times, when i had this urge to talk to you, i went up to you.
but most of the times, we would end up arguing.
sometimes, i get pretty frustrated about this.
but seriously, what can i say??
avoiding the problem is not the way to solve it.
not talking to you is definitely not the way to solve the problem between us.
but i cant seem to think of any solutions.
it seemed like the best way for me, is to just keep quiet.
if i've disappoint you greatly, i'm sorry.
i want some
peace.
