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j'adore.
Profile.



good things come in small packages.



Saturday, July 16, 2005

early in the morning, i was pissed by my dad. told him that i'm gonna go out. and he asked all kinds of questions that made me felt like i'm a criminal and that the police is trying to get some clues out of me. this ain't the first time. there's just something that's lacking between the both of us. mutual trust. he always says that he trusts in me and blah blah blah. but please. action speaks more than words. his actions towards me obviously shows that he doesnt trusts me. whenever he says he trusts me, it sounded so convincing. but the more he says he trusts me, the more i feel that he doesnt trusts me. it just seems to be that way. it has already come to the extend that i dont care if he trusts in me or what. i'm just so sick and tired of all this crapp. i feel that i dont need his trust anymore. it doesnt matter if he trusts me or not. i dont really give a damn to it now. i USED to be very desperate of his trust. but it's just suddenly, i asked myself this. do i really need his trust?? what can i do if he doesnt trust me?? is it my fault?? i used to think that it is my fault. but now, no. i have done everything that i could to get his trust. what else does he want me to do?? i tried my best. but did he?? no. all he could do is to keep on thinking that i'm lying to him. for whatever reason must i do that?? if i wanted to lie to him, i would have done it like long time ago?!?!? must i wait till noww?? but you know what?? after he had asked my like so many thousands of stupid questions, he called me at around 9pm and said those nice nice things. it's always like that. my mum even called me and said that she and my sis scolded my dad for being so suspicious about me. i felt like -_-"'. they wanted to tell me the whole story of how they scolded my dad and stuffs. but i was like. forget it. i dont wish to listen. so i told them that i'm busy noww. haaz. but really, scold or dont scold. does it like make a difference?? maybe for that little second or minute. but i assure that the next time he sees me going out again, he will start doing the same thing. as usual lahhs. that is why i really dun care. i mean, what you wanna do, go ahead. i'm not guilty of doing anything. you wanna send a detective to spy on me, then go ahead. i'm not doing anything that is against the law. so, i'm not afraid.


11:38 PM